Isn’t it a luxury when the children are sleeping? If there is one thing I have been blessed with in motherhood (and aunthood) it is sleepers. Not that It’s been an easy ride from day one by any means. There are also far more nights that one or two of my children will insist on finding me during the night and invading my sleep space, than not. By hearing the horror stories of others, I realise I have had it comparatively easier in this department. Which is just as well because the sleep deprived version if me is something that no one should have to endure. I become an absolute mess and it is a far from pretty sight. To all the sleep deprived parents who get through the day in some shape or form- RESPECT!
I was pretty chuffed with myself the first-time I managed to get a 10 month and 21 month old to have a nap during the day – in unison. I think on this first occasion I might have spent some bewildered time floating around in disbelief. But also maybe not, because I know I had a lot of work on and sleep time for them soon became time for me to fill with a patch of other working.
I shall add that an issue which has arisen here is that I have been spoilt. When the sleep aka sanity refuel bit of the day doesn’t happen smoothly, I get a bit twitchy. They owe me that time right? It’s alright though I love them dearly and it gets us through the day.
One thing that hasn’t changed since the first short & precious newborn naps to their sleep now is the sudden rise of bizarre pressure. Pressure to USE THIS TIME WISELY (or regret it it for the rest of the day).
So initially I usually stop, listen out to check that I’m not imagining the bliss of peaceful infants. Then there’s the countdown panic of what to do… I might have an hour? what do I do..? I could: prep some activity for when they awake; get some of those emails looked at and replied to; pay bills or brave HMRC and try to make sense or better still – progress with my self assesment. I could stick some paint on that bit half finished temple I’m building, do the washing up- the list goes on. All the things that whilst I am Mummying, I think would be so much easier to do child free suddenly become a possibility. But possible on an uncertain time limit. Quick do all those things!!! Some times I just sit down and have a cup of tea and a sandwich. That’s nice.
Of course when they are still tiny you get told to sleep when they sleep. I’m not sure at what point this becomes less acceptable. (Not that acceptable should matter – you do what you need to do- I mean that.) I try to use the time mine sleep to do something productive or ‘worthwhile’ but actually Some times I do wonder if sleep might be more productive. This, however, is a tiny bit of time I get to be me.
The other bits of time available to me are hideous O’clock in the morning. That depends on whether my ninja skills are up to scratch and I can successfully creep out of the room without the company of my littlest one. There is also evening, I think I explained the pillow race in my last post. Evenings are frequently a write off.
I am lucky, I get to have time to myself and even the luxury to write a blog. The space to process excessive overthought.
This partivular post is being typed out at 4 am. Quick….They might wake up soon!